


skin deep

by katiebuttercup



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, Heavy Angst, M/M, Rule 63, Trauma, girlgavroche
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-25
Updated: 2013-03-25
Packaged: 2017-12-06 11:57:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/735365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katiebuttercup/pseuds/katiebuttercup
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Grantaire is ugly for a reason</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I haven't the words to express my gratitude to all if you who have written such beautiful comments and left kudos for me. It's beyond what I ever expected but I just wanted to thank everybody who took the time to click on the link. I love you all, I hope I haven't ruined it by stretching it into three chapters ;)

Grantaire spins wicked tales about his face, each one slightly more wilder and impossible. For the most part Enjolras doesn't pay attention, although he sometimes wonders why Grantaire courts his audience's pity and disgust. His features have never bothered Enjolras, if anything had ever put him at odds with the dark haired drunkard it was his cynical disposition and stubborn refusual to believe in a better world, that people could be better.

But he's slowly noticing the way Eponine and Combeferre bite their lips and look at each other as Grantaire launches into one of his stories, their expressions full of pain that makes Enjolras pause and think about Grantaire a little deeper.

This thing between them is new and Enjolras is loathe to mess it up-he will undoubedly do so, his past relationships being few and far between and his great love is always Patria, but there is a new feeling for Grantaire, a softness inside him and he thinks he love him, it is impossible to rationalise it-and he's tried many times. Grantiare is simply a partt of him and he wouldn't change that.

So it makes him wonder why he has never asked about Grantaire's absurd stories. He knows Grantaire is a master of disguise hiding behind his wit, his cleverness and his sarcasam to cover any percieved weakness, Enjolras is just begining to see the cracks in them and is working his way filling the empty spaces in between. 

It is one night when Grantaire has launched into his tale, a laughing, mocking audiene has surrounded him that Enjolras sits beside Combeferre and Eponine and asks them about their reaction. They stare at each other, silently comunicating and Enjolras waits it out, a part of him is surprised that Combeferre worries about Grantaire-and it is worry in his best friends deep set eyes. He has never fully understood Enjolras's feelings for the drunk. 

Eponine doesn't look at him when she says, "Grantaire didn't tell you how we met did he?" 

Enjolras shook his head, he had assumed they had met at a bar and had found each other's kindred spirit. Eponine seems to be fighting a battle internally but she finally says, "Come and meet me in the park at noon."

Combeferre shoots a long look to where Grantaire is still in the midst of his story, his expression becoming more and more worried, "I don't think Grantaire would appreciate...."

Eponine shakes her head, her own dark eyes meeting his, "If he really cares about Grantaire then he should know."

That seems to be the end of the conversation, neither Eponine or Combeferre say anything else and so Enjolras has no other option but to go back to his studying.

*

 

Enjolras scans the park, the sun is out and it seems full of parents and children enjoying the late summer day. He finds Eponine sitting on a bench reading a magazine, she puts it aside as he sits beside him. 

"I met Grantaire at the side of the road on christmas eve," Eponine says without premeable. She doesn't look at him, and she doesn't say anything for a moment, the silence stretches until it is uncomfortable but suddenly a shout is heard and both of them turn to stare as a child begin treking towards them a giant red ball in her hands.

"Eppie! I got it!" 

Eponine smiles, holding her arms out and the child totters into them. Closer up Enjolras can see the child is actually walking on prosphetic legs and he can't bury the gasp that comes out of his mouth when he sees the scar tissue on the child's left hand side of her face. Its exactly the same as Grantaire's.

"Gina meet Enjolras, he's a friend of Grantaire's"

The child turns a blindingly beautiful grin on him and his stomach flips, the child's face was covered in scars, one even pulled her top lip down so when she spoke she lisped badly.

"Hi!" 

There was no hiding the joy and happiness in her tone, she was truly an irrepressable spirit. 

"How about you go and play with the ball again, babe, where I can see you though"

The girl trotted off again and Enjolras drew in a deep breath, "That's my sister Gina. She and my mom were in a car crash, Mom had been drinking and she lost control of the car, she walked away without a scratch. She left Gina is an upturned car to die. Grantaire was passing through and he went in after her, the car almost blew up," she gestured to her face, "Which is why...." She clears her throat. "Gina broke every bone in her body and had her legs amputated but Grantaire never forgot about her, he came to see her every day, played with her and told her how beautiful she is. Gina adores him."

"That's why you got custody of Gina and Azelma then?" Enjolras feels his throat swell painfully. He can't think of Grantaire's bravery yet, he might break down.

"Yes."

"How does Combeferre know?"

"Combeferre was there too"

"He never said anything," Enjolras murmured, he couldn't peice it all together, Combeferre had mentioned knowing Grantaire before he came into the cafe musain but he had not elaborated he wished he had. 

"Why didn't Grantaire say something?"

"Grantaire is like a mirror, he'll play the part you think you want him to play, you call him a drunk and a cynic and so he drinks, you call him an idiot and he will do something stupid. It's our fault that we let him." 

The bottom had fallen out of his stomach, he wants to throw up but he can't move. Everything inside him is quiet and still, everything he thought he knew about Grantaire has died and he is left standing in the ashes.

"I don't know what to say,"

"You seem to care about him, I mean you've lasted longer then most people and I know how he feels about you, so I figured you could be trusted."

Could he be trusted? He didn't think so, hadn't be proven how shallow he was? How shallow they all were and how willing they were to accept Grantaire's masks as truths. 

"Do you want to come back to rainbow lodge?" Eponine asked, Enjolras raised his eyebrows, "It's a rehab, Gina lives there part time to help her."

Enjolras watches the little girl, sunlight glinting off deep brown hair tied with a pink bow. She is beautiful and innocent, happy just to throw a ball and try to hobble after it. 

"Yes I would."

*

As the name suggests Rainbow lodge is an explosion of colour that almost blinds Enjolras as soon as he walks in the door. The nurse at the station greets Eponine with familairity and Enjolras with a kind if reserved smile and leads them into a small side room covered with toys. The walls are all the colours of the rainbow and it makes Enjolras slightly dizzy but Gina is sitting at a table and pretending to pour tea. 

He and Eponine watch her play for an hour, each docily taking a cup of tea and obediantly drinking the refills. Enjolras is glad it's not real tea or he would be in real trouble, but the litte girl's attention is diverted by Grantaire as he stands in the anteroom, chatting with the nurse at the lobby. 

"R!" Gina launches herself at the door but she is ungainly with the splints and Grantaire catches her halfway across the room. He hasn't seen Enjolras yet. 

"Whose the most beautiful princess the world ever did see? Grantaire asks as he hugs her tightly, she smiles a little forlornly and says nothing. Grantaire bounces her a little and she whispers.

"I'm the prettiest princess"

"Can't hear you," Grantaire whispers back.

"I'm the prettiest princess the world saw," she says at last, Grantaire's face breaks into a huge smile, the scars pulling terribly but Enjolras thinks it may be the most beautiful face in the world.

"That's my girl,"

"I can't be your girl," Gina intones formally and Grantiare frowns. 

"Why not?"

"Cause you like boys!" 

"True. But I'll tell you a secret," he lowers his tone conspiratorally, "I like you too!"

The girl bursts into laughter and Grantaire joins in. Enjolras takes this moment to make his presence known, he is surprised and hurt by the anger and hurt on Grantaire's face.

"Your friend 'Jolras came to visit, he's nice" Gina says, not picking up the tension in the room. 

"Hey Gina, how about you play with Eppie for a sec whle I talk to Enjolras okay?"

The little girl walks back to Eponine and Grantaire jerks his head towards the lobby, Enjolras follows unsure what he has done wrong and feeling dread curl into his stomach.

"Why are you here?" Grantaire demands as soon as they have a modicum of privacy, his whole body is vibrating with anger.

"Eponine invited me"

Grantaire slams his fist into the table, it makes a shocking thud and Enjolras recolis. He has seen Grantaire in many moods but the violence is new and he doesn't know how to respond to it, he wants to hold him but he knows better.

"Grantaire....I...."

"You had no right to come here, Enjolras, Eponine had no right....." He breaks off, tears are brimming in his eyes and he takes a deep breath. "You can't fix everyone, Enjolras, I am not a charity case. I'm not beautiful like you, hell I'm barely tolerable but I would rather look like this and have people look and scorn at me than be handsome and know a beautiful talented little girl died. I can live with how I look but If you can't...."

"I don't care!" Enjolras interrupted, he can't stand there and watch Grantaire in pain, he grabs Grantaire's hands and squeezes hard enough to hurt, to make Grantaire believe.

"I don't care how you got your scars, I don't care if you walked into a hundred burning cars or you got into a fight, I just care that you keep someone you obviously love from me."

Grantaire took a shuddering breath, and Enjolras continues, making sure to make eye contact even as Grantaire attempts to look away.

"You want to tell everyone you got into a knife fight or a fist fight or whatever or hell you got mauled by a gorilla I don't care, I'll walk down the street with you either way. Whatever you need to do i fine, but don't lie to me, Grantaire. Please."

With trembling fingers, Enjolras placed his hand on the curve of Grantaire's scarred cheek, Grantaire flinched but Enjolras wouldn't let go.

"I love you. I loved you yesterday when I had no idea what you had endured and I love you now, nothing has changed. Grantaire. the face I love is your face, this face. I don't need any masks."

Grantaire didn't answer but Enjolras relaxed as Grantaire folded into his embrace, he knew now it wasn't the scars on his face he would have to deal with but the scars on his heart that needed the most work.


	2. Gina and Enjolras

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gina and Enjolras talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparantly I am a review whore so because I was asked I added a little more

Enjolras exhales, his whole body heaving with the effort as Grantaire walks into the parking lot for a smoke. Enjolras watches him for a long time, he sits curled up on the bench, squinting in the sun. 

He doesn't know what to do.

Grantaire isn't ready to talk yet and he doesn't want to push him, he has walked a dangerously narrow edge and he feels it, he came close to losing Grantaire even while he has learned something incredibly precious. 

After a moment he turns, away from Grantaire and back into the rainbow room, Eponine looks up for a moment, her eyes asking a question. Enjolras shakes his head, he hasn't got any answers all he can do is wait for Grantaire to come back. 

"Hey 'Jolras!" 

The girls chirpy cry distracts him and without thinking he kneels in front of her, making himself at her height; accessible. He wants to know this child, this little person who has Grantaire's heart just as surely as Enjolras does 

"Hey," He isn't used to talking to children but Gina doesn't seem to mind, she just takes it in stride; like everything. 

"Where's R?"

"He's outside" 

He doesn't want to tell her that he's smoking but Gina seems to know and she frowns, "I don't like it when he smokes, he smells funny, also, Patty said it makes you sick."

"Well Patty's right."

"You should tell him to stop." Gina says seriously.

"I don't think he'd listen to me." Enjolras replies.

"Are you a handsome prince?" Gina asks suddenly, she is drawing with a big pink crayola pen, her fingers barely able to grasp it in her damaged fingers. He can't look away.

"No,"

"Are you sure?" 

"I think I'd know,"

Gina shrugs her tiny shoulders, she doesn't believe him, Enjolras picks up a green pen and starts drawing, just for something to do, to keep occupied, his mind is whirling dangerously.

"R says there's a prince for me, somewhere," her face is far to serious for a child and suddenly Enjolras realizes that the little girl knows the reality of her situation.

"People like us are special," Gina continues, her voice is slurred a little so Enjolras bends closer to hear her, his heart constricts at the pain in the little girl's voice.

"Only special people can see us, we're like magic"

"Magic?"

"Only special people can see I'm a princess, and that R is really a handsome prince." She looks straight into Enjolras's eyes and he is captivated, this girl had a future in politics or on film she can catch your attention and keep it effortlessly.

"Are you R's handsome prince."

He doesn't look away, he's being measured. "I hope so."

Gina looks back to her drawing, "So do I."


	3. The nature of beauty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjolras and Grantaire discuss beauty

Enjolras leaves the small building feeling lighter then air, it has been a long time since he had let himself be rather than doing all the time. 

Drawing with Gina had been the best time he had had for years. 

He clutched the drawing Gina had made for him, she had demanded the drawing he had done, her critical eye missing nothing and she had said in that beautiful sing song voice "it's not as good as R's" 

And what could be do other than agree and promise to try harder? 

He sat down beside Grantaire as close as possible, wanting to bridge the gap real or imaginary. 

"Would you love me if it were different?" Grantaire asked into his clasped hands. 

"If I were simply ugly and not burned." 

"You obviously didn't listen to me before, I told you it didn't matter."

"But it helps that I'm some sort of fucking hero right? Magically it makes me pitiable rather than repulsive. People are allowed to stare and point at me"

"Is that why you tell everyone those ridiculous stories? You don't want pity but you'll take ridicule?"

"I'd rather be laughed at than pitied, what will happen when we go back to the cafe and you begin another pointless crusade and I confront you? Will you fire back at me like you usually do? Call me selfish and a drunkard or will you go poor Grantaire better go easy on him poor bastard." 

Enjolras takes a minute to reign in his anger and speak calmly, his tone is icy. 

"I will never go easy on you Grantaire, just as I suspect you will never go easy on me. If you confront me on every issue than I will do so on your numerous vices, that little girl may think you walk in water but you don't." 

He tipped his head to the sky a wry smirk pulling on his lips. 

"You could probably walk on vodka the amount you drink." 

His smile widened as Grantaire leaned in to kiss him and he eagerly returned the affection. 

When Grantaire pulled away he was still pensive. 

"I love Eponine and Combferre but they treat me differently I don't want that. I don't want Gina to either."

"Gina said I was your handsome prince" Enjolras said notchlantly. 

"You going to kiss me and restore me back to how I was before because I have to tell you I wasn't much to look at beforehand."

Enjolras shook his head, "no, I wouldn't change a thing, that's the point Grantaire. I see the magic" 

Enjolras ran his fingers across the hardened ridge of the scars lovingly. He could only see his handsome prince staring back. 

 

Notes: sappy i know but this is the end


End file.
